Sometimes in life, things will collide. One will give meaning to the other. It will add a new perspective, and perhaps bring resolution.
My first thing is that I recently completed a training and was asked to write a testimonial. It took me a little while and some thought to write one that I was happy with. When you’re writing for someone else, you can’t just blurt words out like I do here
After I sent the email, the reply asked me, “And what title should I put under your testimonial?” In other words, what do you do or how do you describe your work?
Now, I retired from teaching several years ago, so I can no longer claim the title of ‘a teacher’. So, what is the answer? What do I do?
While I’ve been pondering this, the second thing showed up. This week I’ve been sorting through papers in my study and I found a letter that I wrote to myself many years ago. It told me – reminded me – of my story then.
At the time, I was unable to find work and unable to get a permanent visa for the country I was living in. And I was certainly very unhappy. The letter talked of wanting to become a writer. The letter is dated 9.9.97.
As I read the letter last week and as I write this now, I’m more than a little heart broken. I’m sad for how I felt then. I’m regretful for lost years. I’m sorry that I’m still not who I want to be. Or what I might become.
I realise now that where I am this morning is a third thing. I’m on my morning walk, pausing to sit on a bench as the sun rises through the trees. I’m listening to Park Hyo-Shin sing and I have nowhere else to be. And I’m writing.
My question for myself is do I dare? Can I become a writer? Am I a writer if no-one is reading? Perhaps though, I already am …
Just now the sun has shifted. It is striking my face and shining directly in my eyes. I close them, just a little. And dream.
2 thoughts on “daring to dream”
I’d always say follow your dreams … what would you have said to a student who said the same to you? Even if you never publish, you should give yourself permission to explore your desire to write. Its painful when we realise opportunities we have missed; but we can’t change the past so I’m just going to take the advantage and make the most of the opportunities that present themselves.
I believe the regret of not doing something will be more painful than trying but not succeeding – at least we can say we tried
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